Five More Mistakes Men Make On Tinder

Following up on my last article about 5 mistakes men make on Tinder, I came up with another 5 common mistakes that men (PUAs included) tend to make when trying to figure out how to meet someone from Tinder. Taking it too seriously A very large percentage of women will tell you that they only […]

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Do You Have The Spider Sense?

Do you ever get the spider sense? That feeling where you just KNOW a nearby set wants to be opened? Don’t worry, you will. When I first got into the game I relied on my wings to point out sets behind me. This is the best way to work with a wingman, because it allows […]

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Handling Rejection Part 1 – The #NotJustHello Debate

This is part one of a three part series on dealing with rejection that was inspired by the #notJustHello debate on Twitter a short while back. I’ve been following the discussions around #notJustHello for the last few weeks and I’m kind of horrified by some of the comments I’ve seen on there. I’m normally not […]

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Rejection Part 2 – How A Venusian Artist Handles Rejection

This is part two of a three-part series on dealing with rejection that was inspired by the #notJustHello debate on Twitter. If you haven’t read part one, be sure to check it out here. I’ve seen a lot of interesting and downright frustrating comments about the #NotJustHello debate from regular guys and from pick-up artists. […]

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Rejection Part 3 – How to Approach Someone Correctly

This the final part of a three part series on dealing with rejection that was inspired by the #notJustHello debate on Twitter. If you haven’t read the first two, be sure to check it out part one here and part two here. It actually isn’t that hard to approach a person on the street in […]

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What should I say on Tinder? – 5 Common Mistakes

Love it or hate it, Tinder has become a worldwide phenomenon. A lot of my students have asked me whether or not I’ve tried Tinder and what I thought about it, so I check it out myself. After a lot of experimentation and asking everyone I know as well as every match I actually talked […]

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Five More Mistakes Men Make On Tinder

Following up on my last article about 5 mistakes men make on Tinder, I came up with another 5 common mistakes that men (PUAs included) tend to make when trying to figure out how to meet someone from Tinder. Taking it too seriously A very large percentage of women will tell you that they only […]

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Video: Friendzone

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I absolutely love this video. It turns out that the only way out of the friend zone is assault and grand theft auto.

Halloween Is Fast Approaching!

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Halloween is my favorite time of year. My roommates and I decorate the hell out of the place, watch classic horror movies almost all month, shamble around the city as undead corpses for the Toronto Zombie Walk and, check out the various indy horror movie events around the city. So here are some tips to help you make the most of the spookiest time of the year!

Plan Ahead For Your Costume

In the past I have been very bad with planning ahead and would until the last minute for my costume, usually because I’m planning a party (see below). And there have been several Halloweens over the years where my costume just plain sucked. Learn from my mistakes and plan for this. There are literally a million ways you can go with a costume idea, so here are some ideas for PUAs:

Sexy Alpha Males – A really well done Captain Jack Sparrow is always a hit with the girls, as are superheroes, movie characters, firefighters, and policemen. Rock stars are always winners. Everyone from the Beatles to Stacee Jaxx from Rock of Ages can be damn sexy if pulled off right (photo from showcase)
Photogenic characters – there are certain costumes and characters that drunk girls will always flock to for pictures. Sometimes it’s just someone who looks EXACTLY like a celebrity or character, other times its just costumes with just the right mix of being eye-catching and being recognizably lovable by women. Really good Star Wars characters work here for some reason. My wing Wildcard looks exactly like Edward from Twilight so he rocked that look (sparkles and all) one year and was hounded by women all night. And my other wing Showcase got so many photos taken with him while dressed as Ace Ventura.
Clever costumes – What you want here is something that is peacocky, but not too ridiculous. Something that will entice girls to open you ask what you are. Be clever, but not TOO clever. If you have to explain the joke, it isn’t funny. One of my personal favorites was a guy dressed as a present, with a tag that said “To: Women, From: God”

Some tips for avoiding a BAD costume:
– Avoid going as something lame and generic like “guy with knife in his head”, the “ironically lame skeleton”, or “normal guy”.
– Avoid anything considered gross, icky, or way too politically incorrect. A blood-covered abortion doctor costume probably wont get you laid tonight (unless MAYBE you’re at a goth club).
– Try to avoid dressing as a girl, a child or baby, or something that lacks manliness or some sort of sex appeal. Wearing a dress and not shaving your chest may get you lots of photos, but nobody is going to go home with you.
– Remember that the more ridiculous you get, the more girls you will need with you. If you’re wearing a giant penis costume, you better have girls on your arm (and you should refer to them only ask your “balls and chain”). If you don’t have social proof to back up your pink hairy shaft… oh god I’m going to stop before I make a joke about being an unwanted dick in here somewhere. This is just getting obscene!
– Make sure your costume choice will be comfortable and not going to boil you alive while you’re wearing it. Remember that you’re going to have to wear this thing all night, probably in a crowded, sweaty bar or club. Lots of makeup is also a bad idea if you know you’re going to be in a place that will cause you to sweat. Also remember that if you’re planning on hooking up tonight, you better be able to a) get out of your costume easily, and b) not smell like a men’s locker room when you do.

Get A Group Together And Create A Theme

While perhaps not as much as New Years or St. Patties, Halloween, is one of those nights where nearly everyone goes out. And most people will have no idea what they are going to go as. Organize your friends and come up with a common theme that you can all wear costumes for. In recent years I’ve seen groups of Power Rangers, the Adams Family, the evil forces of C.O.B.R.A., Ninja turtles, Batman heroes and villains… hell, this year my wings and I were going to do the A-Team, but we decided on Ghostbusters instead! Roll into your favorite pub with your best mates and a swarm of girls all from the same movie, TV show, or theme, and everyone will immediately see your social value. It’s like having a whole group of people peacocking FOR YOU.

Even if you cant organize a group costume idea, take charge and come up with a plan (remember that Leader of Men attraction switch) that involves getting all or as many of them as you can together in one venue. Seriously, if you are reading this and you don’t have a plan, start looking up bars and calling people right now.

One other word of warning: if you’re doing a group costume, be cause it’s something that you can pull off if nobody is around or if everyone bails on you. Or have your costume from last year ready as a back-up just in case.

Throw A Party BEFORE Halloween

People love to dress up. Girls especially. I know girls who will spend $200 every year on a new slutty costume and then complain that they’ll never wear their old ones again. So why not give everyone a chance to rock his or her awesome costume more than once? I think Halloween is the best occasion for a party out of all the “excuses act ridiculously and drink heavily” nights. Since Halloween is on a weekday this year we get to go out on the night of Halloween wearing our costumes, but we can also throw a party on the weekend BEFORE and give everyone an excuse the show off their costume one extra night! Organize a party that weekend that takes all the things that made those children’s Halloween parties awesome, but add alcohol and adult themes. Carve some pumpkins and decorate your house – inside and out. Create a playlist of funky Halloween-related songs. Make red Jello shooters with gummy eyeballs or worms inside. Make people say Trick-or-treat before you let them in and give them candy when you do. It’s Halloween! Act like a kid again!

Pre-Party At Your Place On Halloween Night

Have people over to your place to pre-drink and get ready. Play more of those Halloween-related songs on your playlist, hang out and have some beers, and then head out together to the bar. Just don’t stay at your place too long or it might be hard to get a large group of people into the bar at once. So….

Get There Early

Make sure you plan to get to whatever venue you’re going to with enough time to avoid line-ups as well. Most of the good bars and pubs here in Toronto are going to be madhouses after 8pm and I would imagine it will be similar in other cities.

Have An After-party

Bars and clubs close, as they are inclined to do, at 2 or 3 in the morning. But Halloween, like St. Patty’s and New Years, are the nights where the single people just don’t want to go home yet. So obviously, having a place to bounce your sets to after the bar is a must. Maybe it’ll just be a bite to eat before you head back to your place, or maybe your buddy is throwing a full-blown party. Either way, have some options for the evening – or at least create some for yourself!

Don’t Be On The Prowl

Although this should just be a rule for any time you go out to a social gathering, it especially applies to nights like St. Patty’s, New Years, Halloween, etc, when everyone is out looking to hook up. If you’re the guy peacocked in the furry Cookie Monster costume, staggering around the venue – alone – while looking for girls to open, you will destroy your value and absolutely wreck the room before you even approach anybody! It will be obvious to anyone who sees you stalking around that you are just out to hook up with some drunk girl in a slutty cheerleader uniform, which makes you just like all the other AFCs out there. Instead, roll in with your friends (ideally, this should include girls!), have some drinks and share some laughs and don’t worry about scanning the room for sets to open. Women will be naturally attracted to a fun group of people who are laughing and smiling and having a good time. Create a power-base that women will give proximity to and open people nearby. Merge your sets and have someone to take lots of photos to create a massive, socially proofed vortex of spooky fun! And you will be the one who created it all. From there, the game will be easy.

Happy Halloween,

Prophet

The Date – Time Bridges and Day-2s

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A question I hear a lot from students is “Where do I take all these girls for a Day-2 once I close them?” This is usually followed up with “I don’t have a lot of money” and “There isn’t really much to do in my city.” But believe it or not, there are probably HUNDREDS of fun and interesting things for you to take your girl to right in your city – many of which are free or extremely cheap! All you have to do is be a little creative and your entire town or city can become your dating playground.

A day-2 or a date doesn’t have to be that cliché one-on-one sit down at a table and talk thing. That Hollywood-style dinner date or one-on-one coffee meet-up can be boring and awkward for both of you, so why even bother with it? You don’t have to take her out for dinner, you don’t have to buy her drinks, and it doesn’t even HAVE to be just the two of you. In fact, my favorite kinds of Day-2s are things that I’m already doing – usually with friends – that she can come and join if she wants. But we’ll get to that in a second.

You have to remember that the stereotypical “first date” can be just as nerve-wracking for the girl as it is for you. She wants to make a good impression, she wants to make sure she looks good, she wants to be fun and interesting, she wants to stand out from the other women you have in your life. If you’ve ever been on a date before, you know how hard it can be to do this when you’re just sitting across the table from the other person, with nothing much to do but try make conversation. A stuffy one-on-one “date” also has added pressure for a woman who is being alone and isolated with a guy she barely knows. And to add even more complexity there are all sorts of contradicting social rules that you are both trying to work out for yourself: who pays for dinner? When do you go for the first kiss? How far is too far on the first date? The concept of a “date” can create so much anxiety for both parties that it’s far easier on both of you to just circumvent it.

“Hanging Out” vs “The Date”

A far more appealing option, and one that women are more likely to agree to since involves far less pressure than a proper date, is to just hang out and do something fun. It’s not a date; it’s the two of you hanging out on another day (hence the term Day-2, Day-3, etc). Maybe you’re going to buy a new shirt and you need a woman’s opinion on which one to get. Maybe you’re buddy’s band is playing at a bar and you and your crew are going to support them. Maybe you’ve always wanted to visit a local landmark or tourist attraction but just haven’t gotten around to it. There is a MASSIVE list of fun dates/day-2 activities on our forum, but here some of my favourites:

  • Run errands together – Simple and easy. Tell her you have some errands to run and invite her to tag along. For added conspiracy, come up with a cheap but obscure item that you need to find and have her help you find it during the day. Even if you do find the thing you don’t even have to buy it, just tell her it wasn’t the one you were looking for.
  • Ride a ferris wheel – If there’s a carnival or fair in town. Tell her you haven’t ridden a ferris wheel in years and you want to go do it. Sneak on some food/booze/pot and consume it when you’re at the very top.
  • Take photos of ___ all over the city – Find an interesting object (I have a 3-inch tall lawn gnome, for instance) and take photos of it in interesting situations and places all over the city. See how many funny pictures you can take, or how many people you can get to take photos with the object. The possibilities are endless here.
  • Go skiing, hiking, skating, biking, or rollerblading – If she’s the particularly active type, invite her out to do any of those things. It’s also a great way to build a shared experience over a number of locations.
  • Play pool, darts, or shuffleboard – Good for a low-key “date” if that’s what you’re after. Challenging her to a game, or (even better) teaming up against another couple is a great way to keep the energy up.
  • Elementary school lunch picnic – Get your friends (and some of hers) together and buy snacks from the supermarket. Pack lunches like your parents used to make when you were in elementary school – but buy all the things you always wanted in your lunch when you were a kid. Go to a park, sit in a circle, and trade your snacks just like during lunch hour. Optionally, replace juice boxes with wine.
  • Try A New Kind of food – Tell her you’ve been wanting to try a new dish at a certain restaurant. Try to make it sound enticing and avoid disgusting-sounding dishes. Invite her and a couple of people to experience something new!
  • Participate In A Flash Mob – In most major cities there are groups that organize large-scale events like the Zombie Walk, Santa Run, Secret Ninja Attacks, city-wide scavenger hunt etc. Find out where and when these are and take her to one. It’s an interesting adventure and usually features a number of locations so is very good helping her feel like she has experienced a LOT of things with you.
  • Smoke at a sheesha lounge – Go to a sheesha lounge with some friends and smoke a hooka. Great for laid back/low energy girls. Bring your friends and/or some of hers and just chill out. If she’s 420-friendly, smoke some of that too.
  • Sing Karaoke – Get a group of your friends to go out to karaoke. Have her bring her friends as well. You don’t even have to be a good singer, you just need to be able to follow the song and look like you’re having fun. Find a good duet song to sing and sing it together. Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen and Paradise by the Dashboard Lights by Meatloaf are two of my favourites.
  • Invite her to your weekly wing night/taco night/sushi night/etc – Find a cool/cheap/delicious thing to do every week with your friends. Invite her and her friends to come join you.
  • Search for ghosts in a haunted building – Almost every city has a hotel or a building that is supposedly haunted. And almost every smart phone has a novelty “ghost hunter” app available in it’s app store. Make her hold the phone and watch the “readings” while you explore the building and look for ghosts!
  • Play laser tag – Channel Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother and bring her to play laser tag with you and your friends.
  • Play mini-golf – Take her to play mini-golf. If there is a place for it on the course, pack a lunch and sit down and have a picnic halfway through your game.
  • Go see a friend’s show at a local bar – Tell her you and your friends are going to support your friend’s band. Have her bring some of her friends for added support!
  • Visit a museum or an art gallery – Perfect for the artistic types. Just wander around and look at things. For some conspiracy, take turns pretending to be tour guides talk about an exhibit to groups as if you work there. For added fun, give completely false information.
  • Tour a brewery – Most local beer manufacturers will let you tour their brewery for free or for a small fee ($10-15) and usually give you beer. Create an “us against the world” conspiracy by enlisting her to help you steal their secret recipe.
  • Sneak into a place wearing Groucho glasses – Buy those glasses with the fake nose and mustache from a costume/party store. Go to a place known for it’s poor service, make a small scene, and storm out. Then both of you put on the glasses and try to “sneak back in” and order from the same person wearing your clever disguise without breaking your cover.

You’ll notice that very few of these activities involve sitting somewhere and making conversation in the traditional “date” setting. Instead, you’re going to somewhere (in most cases more than one location), doing something interesting, and getting to know each other while you’re doing it. This will set you apart for all the other boring guys who just asked her out on a yet another boring coffee date.

Group activities tend to be the most enticing to women because it diffuses the one-on-one pressure, and gives her the option of bringing a friend or two to help her feel more comfortable. This will feel more natural and relaxed than if it was just the two of you, so kino escalation and comfort building will also feel more natural and progress more smoothly. They also give us a massive advantage over the traditional date because:

1. She gets to see us hanging out with our friends and being social. If you have awesome friends who are cool and fun and positive, this can sometimes seal the deal for you right off the bat.
2. You can demonstrate being a Leader of Men by leading your social circle. You ARE the tribal leader, aren’t you?
3. The other women in your social circle will create jealousy and preselection. It’s great to have plutonic girl friends, but you can even invite multiple sets out together and build jealousy that way.
4. Your wings can be there to help out if you feel the vibe dropping.
5. You get more time to befriend her friends, or for your friends to tell great stories about you to them. You know she’s going to ask her friends what they thought afterwards, so you might as well make sure they have good things to say!

Side Note: A lot of PUAs like to take the girls they’ve met at a club out to a different club when they go out on a date/Day-2. Unless you only plan on using her as a pivot to meet hotter girls this can be rather self-defeating. If you’re with your date at a club you will get very few chances to actually talk to each other and will either spend most of your time grinding on the dance floor or standing somewhere by a bar trying to hear each other. How do you plan on building comfort at a place like that? Now this can sometimes work if you have a large group with you and can be better if you’re doing bottle service, as it gives you more flexibility and value. It can also work if you both dance a certain style of dance (like Salsa, for instance) and you go to one of those clubs. Generally though, you want to avoid places that are extremely loud, busy, and full of potential AMOGS. Plus, you want her to experience a number of different locations and activities with you, not the same kind of venue over and over again, right? If you met a woman at a coffee shop, would you take her out for coffee again? If you met her at the supermarket, would you take her to the supermarket on your Day-2? So why would you take her back to a nightclub? You can go out dancing later on once you’ve built a sexual relationship with her. But a Day-2 at a night club is kind of like bringing your accomplice back to the scene of the crime.

How to Set Up the Hangout

So how do you actually invite her out to all these crazy-sounding adventures?

The best was is to already be doing interesting things. You should be actually LIVING an interesting life so that you can just invite the various women you meet in the field out to. Maybe you have your own Bucket List, and you can just chose an interesting item from there to bring her out to. Or maybe it’s just wing night with a bunch of your friends, or you are going to see a band that your friend belongs to, or checking out a local art exhibit, or going to the beach, or building the biggest snowman humanly possible. Whatever it is, you seed the activity into the conversation already by talking about them earlier into the set. And then when it’s time to get her number and set up the day-2 (this is what we call your Time Bridge in Revelation) you invite her to what you are doing is merely an afterthought and exchange numbers.

For example I would seed a hangout with something like:

“…This weekend my friends and I are doing an Elementary School Lunch Picnic. We’re all going to pack a lunch just like the kind our parents made for us for school – except we’re going to get…all the snacks…that we always wanted to bring. Do you remember Gushers?! OMG! I loved those. And then we’re going to go to ___ Park… smoke a couple Js…and then we’ll all trade stuff just like in elementary school!”

They will go on about how that sounds fun/interesting/cool/whatever, but you don’t invite them. You just stack forward, either qualifying her or building comfort. Then later on, once you have build a connection you create a time bridge by just saying something like:

“I think we’re doing our picnic on Sunday. You should come. But you have to bring a lunch. None of that ‘oh mommy didn’t pack it for me today bullshit’. Deal?”

Then exchange numbers.

Happy sarging,

Prophet