How to Get Her Number
So you’ve met a gorgeous, interesting woman. You’ve chatted for a while, you’ve shared some laughs, and you’ve gotten to know each other a bit. Now it’s time to get her phone number and ideally set up a date .
The average guy will just flat-out ask her to go on a date with him: “Would you like to go out with me sometime?” or “Can I buy you a coffee sometime?” Guys with less confidence will even ask her permission before asking her out on the date with something like: “Would it be okay if I asked you out for dinner/drinks/a movie sometime?” Worse yet, some guys will try to avoid rejection by asking the question indirectly with low-confidence lines like: “What would it take for you to go on a date with me?” or “what would you say if I asked you out one day?” This is not how you get a date. Even something as seemingly innocent as “Can I get your phone number?” lowers your value and makes it look like you are chasing her. When you’ve displayed your personality correctly she will be chasing you. She should be asking for your number, she should WANT you to call her, she should be hoping the next day that she’ll hear from you. Think about it: if you have to beg her for her PHONE NUMBER now, do you really think she is going to want to go on a date with you in a few days?
If you don’t have girls asking you for your phone number, they have entire books, DVDS, seminars, and even one-on-one training that will teach you everything you need to know and more about how to become the guy that women chase. But for now, here are some great examples of how to get her number without begging for it:
Simple But Effective #-Closes
You: “you have such a great energy but I really have to go… How can we keep this conversation going?”
Babe: “yeah/I dunno/whatever”
You: “Well…do you have a mobile phone……or should I just use smoke signals?”
Babe: [doesn’t matter, as long as she actually has a phone or doesnt’ make an excuse about being out of minutes or something]
You: “Cool. Take my number down: ________ Ok now call it. Great.”
You:”It’s too bad I have to leave because I find you a little fascinating. How can we continue this at a better time?”
Babe: “Yeah/I dunno/whatever”
You: “Are you creative? Here, here’s a piece of paper. Write something creative. Use your imagination.”
[If she still doesn’t catch on]
You: “Think: digits, numbers.”
You: “You know what, for the same reason we both met, we both have to go right now. You have to go back to your friends, I have to go back to my friends. See if we both had no friends, we both could have hung out all night in our own loser posse. But we cant do that because you have to go to your friends and I have to go to my friends. You know what? Do you have a phone on you? Okay, punch this in _______. Ok call it. Ok, I’ll give you a call later. Ok awesome. Go back to your friends.”
(I think this one came from TD)
You: “you know you’re first impression was kind of so-so, but now that I get to know you, you’re pretty fucking interesting. I would love to get to know you more. [pull out your phone and hand it to her] Here… name and number please…”
Note that in the last one, I’m not asking for her number, but rather telling her to give it to me. This slight difference in wording changes the subtext entirely. Instead of you begging for her to do something (which shows uncertainty and a lack of confidence), you are telling her to do it. Not in a COMMANDING way mind you, just in a confident way that conveys that it never occurred to you that she wouldn’t give it to you. We’re not trying to convince or trick a woman into giving us their number – we’re just trying to avoid sounding like the average chump who begs for it. She’s used to guys like that all the time, and the last thing we want is to get lumped in with them.
Seeding A Date
Of course, a phone number doesn’t mean much if she has no reason to want to see you again, or at the very least want to talk to you on the phone again. The best way to ensure that you’ll see her again is to seed a future activity earlier in the conversation. This could be some upcoming event you can go hang out at (see the next section) or even an item from your bucket list. When you talk about it, don’t invite her out to it yet. Just be excited about it and talk about how cool/interesting/nerve-wracking/etc it’s going to be. Then, when it comes time for the number close, tell her:
You: “Listen, you should come to [whatever the activity is], bring your friends too.”
Then pull out a pen and a business card (this could also be someone else’s business card) or a piece of paper. Rip it in half and hand her the pen and half of the paper/card. If she asks what it is for, tell her: “Use your imagination.” When she hands you back the pen, write down your name and number and give it to her as well (I think this close originally came from Style). Then talk briefly about how interesting the event is and stack forward to another routine. DO NOT JUST GET THE NUMBER AND LEAVE LIKE IT’S A GOD DAMN PRIZE. Stay for a few minutes and continue the conversation. Get to know her a little more and THEN go and brag to all your friends.
Also, if I haven’t had much time to build a connection and she needs to leave, I will sometimes opt for a humor spike after getting her number. I personally love Style’s bit that goes: “here write down your name, number, and a little sketch of yourself so I remember what you look like.” I now have about a hundred scraps of paper with funny little cartoon faces on them. I think I’m going to put them in a frame, hang it in my apartment, and call it “art”.
Facebook or Email?
Sometimes, a woman would rather give you their Facebook, email, Skype, or (in some rare cases) their Twitter names instead of exchanging numbers. In most situations, this is a good indicator that she either isn’t attracted or you haven’t build enough of a connection. Girls like to give away their email and Facebook because it’s far easier to screen, ignore, or even block creepy guys who try to contact them. Unless something outlandish has happened like her phone was lost, broken, or disconnected, then you should interpret an attempt to avoid giving you her phone number as an Indicator of Disinterest. If she doesn’t feel interested or comfortable enough to give you her number, you have either gone for the close way too early, or there is a hole in your game somewhere.
In this situation, your best bet is to playfully neg her with something like “Haha there is no way I’m adding you to Facebook. You’ll just creep my pictures and all the girls who post on my wall” (almost every girl does this when they are interested in a guy). Then move the conversation into another DHV story to build some attraction/interest before trying for the number again.
Alternatively, if you do get the Facebook offer, LuckyD has a great way of turning it around into a number close:
Facebook Reversal Number Close by LuckyD
If you ask for her Facebook, or she offers hers you can take out your phone to write down her name (usually a note is ideal for this).
Pua: “OK name and I’ll add you”
HB: [she will say her name]
Pua: “I bet you there is loads of [say her name] on Facebook. Give me your Email address so I can find you Easier.”
At this stage pass her the phone so she has it in her hand to type in her email address. Once she starts typing she would find it a bit awkward to type in her email address specially if your phone has predicted texts, and even more so if she’s a little bit tipsy. Then say:
Pua: “I see that your struggling there you can just give me your number if you find it easier.”
Because she is struggling to, she will.
You Got Her Number – Now What?
Again, don’t just exit as soon as you get her number and over to high-five your friends. A phone number is not a prize. If the girl has no intention of answering your call or seeing you again then the number actually means nothing. So once you’ve got her number, stay and chat with her for a few minutes before you go. If you’ve seeded a future hangout, then you can talk about the details, add a future adventure projection, or just talk about how awesome it’s going to be. Either way you can run a comfort routine that lets her get to know you a little better and build a stronger connection. This will help her feel more comfortable about seeing you in the future.
If you don’t have it yet you should get the VA Phone Game app for iPhone. In addition to articles and examples for everything you could possibly want to know about phone game AND the library of fun text pebbles you can send to your sets, it allows you to keep track of each set you’ve #-closed, providing you with a place to jot down the things you’ve talked about and important details about each girl, including the details for your date (or other possible date opportunities) if you’ve seeded one and even schedule a reminder for when you’re going to call or text her next! Pop open the Phone Game App and add her profile. Note down the things you’ve talked about and important details in their relevant fields. Use these fields to remember things you can talk about when you’re on the phone with her and later when you’re on a date with her. Don’t worry about having perfect punctuation and spelling, just jot down the information you want to make sure you remember in quick point form. Add the details for your day-2 if you seeded one (and you really should have!) and schedule a reminder for when you’re going to call or text her next.
Finally, if – for whatever reason – you did not get to give her your number, you can always text her towards the end of the night with something like:
Hey Lacey Bigguns, get home safely – Prophet (The Hair).
Hey babe, just realized I forgot to give you my number. I’m totally neglectful like that. – Prophet
Just a simple, non-needy message that conveys a little warmth, ensures she has your number and your name, and adds a little reminder of what you talked about. The basic formula is:
Hey [babe/nickname], get home safely – [name], [callback humor].
You can also use many of the Text Pebbles in the app or over in my series on Phone Game to text her about crazy things that may be happening after you’ve parted ways. My current favorite (which really happened to me) is:
Crazy lady on the street just told me her boyfriend wont let her hang meat on the wall for her art. Haha This is Prophet by the way.
This will usually get some sort of response, if it’s any sort of indicator of interest, you can follow up with:
Yeah, then she said “You think thats crazy…” and I walked away because I knew I didnt want to hear the end of that sentence.