Phone Game – The Problem With Mass Texting Girls

Women using mobile phones

I didn’t always use to be, but I’ve become quite the social guy. Seven years ago my Friday and Saturday nights would have been spent playing EVE Online or World of Warcraft. Nowadays, I’m out with friends doing something almost every WEEKDAY. But one of the problems I encountered when I was first developing my (now amazing) social circle and trying to figure out phone game was actually getting people out to all the things I was doing. I had my calendar full of cool things to do, but with new girls coming in and out of my life and more friends than the AFC me ever dreamed of having to manage, getting everyone to a certain place at a certain time became incredibly difficult!

Technology provided apparent solutions. The ability to mass-text dozens of people, create distribution lists on your phone, and the ability to message large groups of people through social media meant that I had a number of options for quickly sending out invites to dozens and dozens of girls who I wanted to join me at various parties and adventures. Unfortunately, I learned very quickly that mass-messaging people wasn’t actually a very effective way of getting a lot of people out for the night, to a party, or any other social gathering. Although it may have seemed to be efficient to have people grouped into distribution lists for easy sending, or even just sending the exact same message to a dozen or so people, I found that it would drastically reduce the chances of even getting a reply – let alone getting a whole bunch of people to show up! Although it certainly saved me plenty of time and energy and creative thought, I learned the hard way that relying on technology to get your social invitations out was actually very ineffective.

The Personal Invitation
The personal invite, I discovered through trial and error and observation of others, was by far the best way to ensure people would come to what you’re planning. And really, this SHOULD be common sense, but I know how easy it is to be blinded by the possibilities that technology has to offer for us PUAs. Even years later, when I was originally planning the VA Phone Game iPhone app there was talk about having the ability to mass-message groups of girls you had stored in your phone. On the surface, it seemed like a fantastic feature to add – until we considered the ramifications of thousands of guys spamming hundreds of girls each using the same canned messages over and over, ruining not only the pre-made gambits but also the chances those guys would have had with those girls if they had just taken a more personal approach to it! And looking at it deeper, we once again came around to the problem of enthusiasm, which is hard enough to convey in a text conversation, let alone a mass invite.

Ideally, you should be calling people to invite them out instead of texting. A phone call is far superior to a text message because your enthusiasm for what you’re doing is conveyed through your voice, and will help get your invitees more excited about coming. It’s also a lot harder for people to come up with excuses for not coming out on the phone than it is via text. It’s so much easier to just ignore a text (especially one that was obviously just a mass invite) than it is to come up with an excuse on the fly while the person on the other end of the call excitedly tells you the plan for the day/evening. Invites via phone call also requires less investment on the part of the invitee, which also means more people coming out to whatever you’re doing. If you send out a mass text like “hey all, we’re grabbing sushi tonight on Bloor street, who’s in?”, then anyone who is interested has to text you back asking for details like “where are you going?”, “what time are you meeting there?”, “who else is coming?”, etc, etc. Then you have to text them back, and maybe they’ll need more information so you have to go back and forth again while they figure out all the who, what, where, when, why, and how’s. With a single phone call you can do this all in one shot, alleviating any uncertainty your invitees may have and minimizing the amount of effort they have to put forth before they even decide if they want to come.

When You Have To Text
I mentioned above, there are some times when you have to text people rather than call them, but that does not mean it’s still ok to be lazy and send a mass text to everyone you can’t call. Texting is my fallback plan if I know I won’t get them on the phone or I know that the are circumstances which prevent the person from answering the call. For instance, if I know the girl probably isn’t off work yet but need to send her the plan for the night, I’m obviously going to text her and let her call me back when she’s either off work on when she’s free. It’s just good social sense.

Unless you’re a promoter and are texting hundreds of people, you should endeavour to send personal messages when texting to invite people out. Use the person’s name, nickname, and even some callback humor if appropriate. People are far more likely to respond to a personal invitation over an obviously generic message. People want to feel like you WANT them to come, they want to know that you took a few seconds out of your busy life to send them a personal invitation to come hang out with you, even if all you are doing is going down the street to meet the gang for some beers at your weekly wing night. Why do you think so many marketing emails have your name in them? Because it makes the message seem more personal, as if it was directed at you the individual rather than one of ten thousand email addresses in a database.

I have also mentioned in previous articles on phone and text game that texting is also useful for sending out the final details to everyone you’ve talked to on the day of/before the event. There are also times when, after personally inviting a girl in person or on the phone, it can be prudent to send her a text remind her or update her on the plan. Imagine you’ve got a girl who you’ve invited out for a bar hop with your friends. You’ve excitedly told her all about your plan to dress in suits and cocktail dresses and go drink classy drinks in dive bars, your friends may have even had a chance to tell her what cool outfit they’re wearing, and you’ve maybe even done a little role-play about the two of you strolling in as if you were on a red carpet and ordering a martini from some hipster bartender while calling each other “daaaahling!”. On the day of the event, you may want to text her a little reminder like “Hello dahling, we’re meeting at 10pm at Wide Open (the smallest bar in Toronto) for our first fancy drink. Be sure to wear something fabulous, there may be paparazzi around!” This can help remind her of how excited she was when she first agreed to come on this ridiculous adventure, while at the same time confirming that she’s coming.

Facebook Events
The same kind of mentality for mass-texting also applies to Facebook events and messaging groups of people via social networking. Have you ever created a Facebook event, added a clever title and description and picture, invited hundreds and hundreds of people, and had only like 10 people respond saying they’re “going” while the other 400 didn’t even bother to respond? I certainly have. I remember, back in the early days of Facebook (back when it was theFacebook), it was easy to create an event and have everyone know about it and respond to the invite. Nowadays, between bands, clubs, performance artists, fundraisers, and special interest groups, most actively social people receive hundreds of Facebook invites every month – and most of them won’t even be viewed. I mean, I’m a guy and I get at least one invite to something on facebook every single day. Imagine being a hot girl with a thousand people on her friends list! I know some girls who have hundreds of unread Facebook messages from groups, events, or other various invites. For them, it’s gotten so far out of hand that they don’t even bother to read them anymore. So is it really that surprising that there is such a large percentage of people who never reply to your Facebook event invites?

Now, I’m not saying DON’T create a Facebook event. All I’m saying is don’t rely on it solely and expect a good turnout to your party. It is still very useful for making sure all the information (date and time, location, directions, special instructions) is easy to find for all your invitees, you just have to make sure that they know about it first. This is again why a personal invite is very powerful. If you have the person’s phone number or see them in person, bring up the event while in conversation and invite them personally. A lot of times, people will mention that they saw the Facebook event, but didn’t get a chance to respond. Many will even feel guilty and apologize. You can joke here that you’re just as bad since you get hundreds of invites and just don’t have time to respond to them all and you really only put it up so that people could find all the details.

The tools that technology gives us can be useful in certain situations. Texts can make sure that everyone quickly gets an update on the plan you’ve already talked about. Facebook events allow you to have a place where everyone can find all the details of your event, party, road trip, or whatever. In the end, however, nothing with get more friends and beautiful women you’ve been gaming out to your adventures than a personal, enthusiastic invite – ideally in person, but on the phone works just as well.

Happy sarging,


PS, if you don’t have lots of cool things to invite girls out to, check out my article on Date and Day-2 adventures for a TON of ideas!

Can I Have Your Number? – MadTV Skit

Direct game gone hilariously wrong… even though it’s just a skit watch how the girl’s body language and replies are constantly conveying disinterest!

blink-182 Pick Up Lines

This is too funny not to share. I kinda want to find a better band and try this myself!

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Delicious
  • LinkedIn
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
  • RSS

When to Text A Girl


Ever since my last article on How to Get A Girls Number and the release of the VA Phone Game app, a lot of people have been asking me about texting girls – especially when you can’t get them on the phone. If you’ve read the rest of my articles on phone game, you’ll know that I, like many of the master PUAs I’ve learned from, believe that a phone call is far more effective for building comfort and setting up the date than a text message conversation. Now, there are some cases where texting is required or more productive than trying to get her on the phone, and we will get into in a moment. But I want to be clear these are typically either situations that can be avoided with more practice and better comfort game, or unusual situations that are beyond your control.

And yet, because calling a girl on the phone can be surprisingly stressful at first, AFCs and PUAs alike will come up with all sorts of excuses and rationalizations for why it’s OK to text a girl over phoning her. Talking to a woman you hardly know on the phone generates a similar anxiety to approaching her at the club. You fear that she may reject or not remember you (which can be disheartening if you worked hard for that number), or that you won’t know what to say, or that the conversation will be awkward or embarrassing. Compared to all that, texting seems like a pretty “safe” way of talking to a girl, which is why many PUAs try to justify text messaging exclusively with crap like “Well most girls are used to using BBM and Facebook anyway so they’re more used to texting” or “I don’t want to sound nervous on the phone and lose her after all that work” or “I get more time to come up with a better response when it’s with texting”. The problem this is what every other low-value male thinks and does. And unfortunately, most women also recognize texting as the “safe” way of talking to them, so any guy that does this gets lumped in with the rest of the insecure men who are too afraid to call her up and ask her out.

The other major fear men have when it comes to phoning women is that they don’t know when to call or what to do if she doesn’t pick up. The prevailing fear is usually that if she doesn’t phone you back and you have to call her AGAIN, it will look try-hard on your part and you could lose the set. Or even if she does phone you back and you miss the call, you will get stuck in a shitty game of phone tag as you try and fail to call her at a time when she’s free. We’re going to talk about tactics for avoiding this below.

When It’s Ok to Text

Typically, you’ll want to use text messaging to send short messages only. Sending her your number with a little bit of callback humour after you #-close is perfectly fine. Sending small “text pebbles” to spike buying temperature or keep her thinking about you is great too. So is texting to finalize details before your next hangout. As a general rule: use texting for a quick message or buying temperature spike, and use phone calls for comfort and making plans.

That said, we’ll now look at the rare/uncommon scenarios in which you may have to rely on texting over a phone call in order to progress things to the next level after a #-close. These are less-than-ideal situations that can sometimes be avoided with stronger comfort game, but are sometimes simply unavoidable due to circumstances on her part. Where if you don’t text her, you’ll risk falling into the phone tag trap and will risk losing the girl.

There will be times when you will call a woman and she won’t pick up. Many PUAs will get discouraged by this and resort to texting immediately. THIS CONVEYS INSECURITY! There are a million possible reasons why she didn’t answer. She could be at work and unable to answer. She could be out with her friends not hear her phone go off in her purse. She could be screening numbers she doesn’t know (another reason why giving her your number is a good idea when you #-close). Or she could simply be a little nervous about talking on the phone herself.

Regardless, leave a message and if you don’t hear from her, wait a day or two and send her another text followed by another phone call in the evening. You can read more about this formula and why it works HERE. If she calls you back, you’re golden. But if she texts you instead, you will have to calibrate.

You still want to see if you can get her on the phone, so text her a bit back and forth and then try one of the following to see if you can bait her into calling you:

“OMG I have to tell you the craziest thing that happened to me the other day, but text will not do it justice.”
“So I’m more of a phone call person than a text person. Texting is so impersonal.”
“You’re pretty cool, but it’s hard to tell via text. I find phone calls are much more personal.” (for sets where you haven’t had much comfort time yet)

If you don’t think she’ll bite and call you, you can add “You free for a quick call? Or are you one of those BBM/instant message freaks?”

A small percentage of girls will only ever text. Usually after the first or second call (or if you ask them to call you as above) they will text you back with some sort of apology or excuse about work or daytime minutes, etc, etc. This is fine, just respond with something like “No worries I understand. Phone calls just feel more personal, you know?” and then stack into the next piece of conversation via text. Or, you can even reframe it like “No worries. I like phone calls because they’re more personal. But I guess now that just gives me more motivation to see you in person, doesn’t it? I’m on to your tricks now little girl!” or “Yeah phone calls just feel more real, you know? How else will I know you’re not some sort of bearded hill-person pretending to be you?” Others may not explain but only ever text you back if you call. If you’ve called her a couple of times and had her only respond via text messages instead of returning the call, take the response as an IOI for now and give up on calling this girl for now in favour of texting.

Other times you will call a woman and she won’t pick up but call you back later, only for you to miss her call. Then you go back and forth chasing each other on the phone as you play phone tag. This can become very discouraging and can very quickly turn her off of the idea of calling you. Style’s method of dealing with this is to send her a funny text about phone tag and ask her when she’ll be around to chat. Something like:

“Phone tag! You’re it! When are you around to chat?”
“Clearly we both need secretaries to handle all these calls. Have your people let my people know when you’re free to chat.”
“Wow and people say I’M hard to get a hold of. Haha let’s stop playing phone tag. Let me know when you’re around for a chat!”

The bottom line is that, while phoning a girl is usually a better idea than texting, you still need to be flexible and versatile with your phone game. Every girl has slightly different phone habits, preferences, and schedules, so you have to be quick to adjust. I once dated a girl who would absolutely never answer the phone when you called her, but would PHONE YOU BACK if you TEXTED her. Confusing, right? So if I wanted to invite her out I’d have to send her a text like “Hey doll, karaoke with the gang this Tuesday. Gonna rock me some Meatloaf!” and within an hour or so she’d call me right back to sort out the details.

Get into the habit of thinking of texting as a kind of back-up for those times when phoning will not get the result you want and DO NOT rely on it for conversations, building comfort, or inviting her to hang out with you. A phone call shows balls and helps convey your personality, and a verbal invite is a lot harder to say no to than a textual one!

Happy sarging,


Tags: , ,

How to Get A Girl’s Number

Lipstick Napkin Phone Number

How to Get Her Number

So you’ve met a gorgeous, interesting woman. You’ve chatted for a while, you’ve shared some laughs, and you’ve gotten to know each other a bit. Now it’s time to get her phone number and ideally set up a date .

The average guy will just flat-out ask her to go on a date with him: “Would you like to go out with me sometime?” or “Can I buy you a coffee sometime?” Guys with less confidence will even ask her permission before asking her out on the date with something like: “Would it be okay if I asked you out for dinner/drinks/a movie sometime?” Worse yet, some guys will try to avoid rejection by asking the question indirectly with low-confidence lines like: “What would it take for you to go on a date with me?” or “what would you say if I asked you out one day?” This is not how you get a date. Even something as seemingly innocent as “Can I get your phone number?” lowers your value and makes it look like you are chasing her. When you’ve displayed your personality correctly she will be chasing you. She should be asking for your number, she should WANT you to call her, she should be hoping the next day that she’ll hear from you. Think about it: if you have to beg her for her PHONE NUMBER now, do you really think she is going to want to go on a date with you in a few days?

If you don’t have girls asking you for your phone number, they have entire books, DVDS, seminars, and even one-on-one training that will teach you everything you need to know and more about how to become the guy that women chase. But for now, here are some great examples of how to get her number without begging for it:

Simple But Effective #-Closes

You: “you have such a great energy but I really have to go… How can we keep this conversation going?”

Babe: “yeah/I dunno/whatever”

You: “Well…do you have a mobile phone……or should I just use smoke signals?”

Babe: [doesn’t matter, as long as she actually has a phone or doesnt’ make an excuse about being out of minutes or something]

You: “Cool. Take my number down: ________ Ok now call it. Great.”

You:”It’s too bad I have to leave because I find you a little fascinating. How can we continue this at a better time?”

Babe: “Yeah/I dunno/whatever”

You: “Are you creative? Here, here’s a piece of paper. Write something creative. Use your imagination.”

[If she still doesn’t catch on]

You: “Think: digits, numbers.”

You: “You know what, for the same reason we both met, we both have to go right now. You have to go back to your friends, I have to go back to my friends. See if we both had no friends, we both could have hung out all night in our own loser posse. But we cant do that because you have to go to your friends and I have to go to my friends. You know what? Do you have a phone on you? Okay, punch this in _______. Ok call it. Ok, I’ll give you a call later. Ok awesome. Go back to your friends.”

(I think this one came from TD)

You: “you know you’re first impression was kind of so-so, but now that I get to know you, you’re pretty fucking interesting. I would love to get to know you more. [pull out your phone and hand it to her] Here… name and number please…”

Note that in the last one, I’m not asking for her number, but rather telling her to give it to me. This slight difference in wording changes the subtext entirely. Instead of you begging for her to do something (which shows uncertainty and a lack of confidence), you are telling her to do it. Not in a COMMANDING way mind you, just in a confident way that conveys that it never occurred to you that she wouldn’t give it to you. We’re not trying to convince or trick a woman into giving us their number – we’re just trying to avoid sounding like the average chump who begs for it. She’s used to guys like that all the time, and the last thing we want is to get lumped in with them.

Seeding A Date

Of course, a phone number doesn’t mean much if she has no reason to want to see you again, or at the very least want to talk to you on the phone again. The best way to ensure that you’ll see her again is to seed a future activity earlier in the conversation. This could be some upcoming event you can go hang out at (see the next section) or even an item from your bucket list. When you talk about it, don’t invite her out to it yet. Just be excited about it and talk about how cool/interesting/nerve-wracking/etc it’s going to be. Then, when it comes time for the number close, tell her:

You: “Listen, you should come to [whatever the activity is], bring your friends too.”

Then pull out a pen and a business card (this could also be someone else’s business card) or a piece of paper. Rip it in half and hand her the pen and half of the paper/card. If she asks what it is for, tell her: “Use your imagination.” When she hands you back the pen, write down your name and number and give it to her as well (I think this close originally came from Style). Then talk briefly about how interesting the event is and stack forward to another routine. DO NOT JUST GET THE NUMBER AND LEAVE LIKE IT’S A GOD DAMN PRIZE. Stay for a few minutes and continue the conversation. Get to know her a little more and THEN go and brag to all your friends.

Also, if I haven’t had much time to build a connection and she needs to leave, I will sometimes opt for a humor spike after getting her number. I personally love Style’s bit that goes: “here write down your name, number, and a little sketch of yourself so I remember what you look like.” I now have about a hundred scraps of paper with funny little cartoon faces on them. I think I’m going to put them in a frame, hang it in my apartment, and call it “art”.

Facebook or Email?

Sometimes, a woman would rather give you their Facebook, email, Skype, or (in some rare cases) their Twitter names instead of exchanging numbers. In most situations, this is a good indicator that she either isn’t attracted or you haven’t build enough of a connection. Girls like to give away their email and Facebook because it’s far easier to screen, ignore, or even block creepy guys who try to contact them. Unless something outlandish has happened like her phone was lost, broken, or disconnected, then you should interpret an attempt to avoid giving you her phone number as an Indicator of Disinterest. If she doesn’t feel interested or comfortable enough to give you her number, you have either gone for the close way too early, or there is a hole in your game somewhere.

In this situation, your best bet is to playfully neg her with something like “Haha there is no way I’m adding you to Facebook. You’ll just creep my pictures and all the girls who post on my wall” (almost every girl does this when they are interested in a guy). Then move the conversation into another DHV story to build some attraction/interest before trying for the number again.

Alternatively, if you do get the Facebook offer, LuckyD has a great way of turning it around into a number close:

Facebook Reversal Number Close by LuckyD

If you ask for her Facebook, or she offers hers you can take out your phone to write down her name (usually a note is ideal for this).

Pua: “OK name and I’ll add you”

HB: [she will say her name]

Pua: “I bet you there is loads of [say her name] on Facebook. Give me your Email address so I can find you Easier.”

At this stage pass her the phone so she has it in her hand to type in her email address. Once she starts typing she would find it a bit awkward to type in her email address specially if your phone has predicted texts, and even more so if she’s a little bit tipsy. Then say:

Pua: “I see that your struggling there you can just give me your number if you find it easier.”

Because she is struggling to, she will.

You Got Her Number – Now What?

Again, don’t just exit as soon as you get her number and over to high-five your friends. A phone number is not a prize. If the girl has no intention of answering your call or seeing you again then the number actually means nothing. So once you’ve got her number, stay and chat with her for a few minutes before you go. If you’ve seeded a future hangout, then you can talk about the details, add a future adventure projection, or just talk about how awesome it’s going to be. Either way you can run a comfort routine that lets her get to know you a little better and build a stronger connection. This will help her feel more comfortable about seeing you in the future.

If you don’t have it yet you should get the VA Phone Game app for iPhone. In addition to articles and examples for everything you could possibly want to know about phone game AND the library of fun text pebbles you can send to your sets, it allows you to keep track of each set you’ve #-closed, providing you with a place to jot down the things you’ve talked about and important details about each girl, including the details for your date (or other possible date opportunities) if you’ve seeded one and even schedule a reminder for when you’re going to call or text her next! Pop open the Phone Game App and add her profile. Note down the things you’ve talked about and important details in their relevant fields. Use these fields to remember things you can talk about when you’re on the phone with her and later when you’re on a date with her. Don’t worry about having perfect punctuation and spelling, just jot down the information you want to make sure you remember in quick point form. Add the details for your day-2 if you seeded one (and you really should have!) and schedule a reminder for when you’re going to call or text her next.

Finally, if – for whatever reason – you did not get to give her your number, you can always text her towards the end of the night with something like:

Hey Lacey Bigguns, get home safely – Prophet (The Hair).

Hey babe, just realized I forgot to give you my number. I’m totally neglectful like that. – Prophet

Just a simple, non-needy message that conveys a little warmth, ensures she has your number and your name, and adds a little reminder of what you talked about. The basic formula is:

Hey [babe/nickname], get home safely – [name], [callback humor].

You can also use many of the Text Pebbles in the app or over in my series on Phone Game to text her about crazy things that may be happening after you’ve parted ways. My current favorite (which really happened to me) is:

Crazy lady on the street just told me her boyfriend wont let her hang meat on the wall for her art. Haha This is Prophet by the way.

This will usually get some sort of response, if it’s any sort of indicator of interest, you can follow up with:

Yeah, then she said “You think thats crazy…” and I walked away because I knew I didnt want to hear the end of that sentence.

Happy sarging,


Setting the Frame for A Date

I love doing stuff all over the city. Whether it’s looking at really tall ships, participating in a massive pillow fight, exploring a wine tasting festival, or smoking a J at a hippie drum circle, I’m pretty much excited to do anything that involves a new experience. So if it’s something I’ve never done or seen before, or if it’s just something I know very little about, I’ll grab some friends (mostly girls) and go check it out. This is a very powerful way to live your life as it always means that you have new stories to tell, new pictures to show off, and makes for an enticing lifestyle to a woman.

What blows me away is that so few PUAs take advantage of the unique and interesting events that are happening all over their city at any given time, but especially during the summer or tourist months! If you check out any local news website or newspaper in your city you will find stuff going on all around you throughout the year that will make for very interesting activities for you and the women you meet in the field do to check out together. I keep my calendar in my phone loaded with every event or activity that I think would be a blast to go and experience (thank you Stylelife). This way, when I meet a girl and start seeding a date activity, I can just remember what’s coming up on my calendar and very quickly decide which event she would be most likely to join me for. And by having a whole bunch of different things to choose from, I can tailor the details of the activity a little depending on her personality.

Is she the well-behaved, “good clean fun” type? Get ice cream and go walk around at that fair that’s coming up. Is she the trouble-making type? Tell her to bring some rum for your slushies from a 7-eleven and go drunkenly check out the new monkey exhibit at the zoo (personally though, I love the llamas, they’re adorable). She’s never had her palm read? Well take her to that psychic expo that’s happening at the convention centre. There are so many opportunities in your city for adventure, you just need to search for them! Even if the event doesn’t sound like a fun place for a date, all it takes is a little creativity and calibration and you can make it the most interesting date she’s ever had!

These kinds of events make for an awesome date because they are fun and require very little investment (she doesn’t have to get dressed up, she can bring her friends if she wants, it’s in a safe public place, etc). They’re more fun than the typical coffee or movie date, and best of all? They’re usually cheap or even free!

And hell, even if you couldn’t bring anyone with you, go there and meet some new people. These kinds of events are AWESOME opportunities to practice your Day Game and are even better than malls since most people aren’t busily trying to get all their errands done.

The important thing about these kinds of light-hearted dates is the the vibe you have while out adventuring. This is especially important if it just happens to be you and your girl. I love the word adventure because I find it feels like that should be the way she describes it to her friends the next day. In fact, I’ll even say “Let’s go have an adventure” somewhere along the line while getting the day started. A lot of women, particularly younger women who are influenced by what their peers think, and especially women who are part of any type of social “scene” can sometimes reject an idea for an adventure because they are afraid of what their peer group will think of the fact that they participating in such an activity. But with the frame of “let’s just go experience something new and be adventurous” that whole problem pretty much just goes away. It’s not about the activity itself, it’s about the private little adventure that the two of you have together, even if that just means laughing at how silly or bizarre the event you’re at really is.

I really saw the importance of this first-hand the first time I brought a girl to the Much Music Video Awards (which is like a big concert thing they do right in the streets) here in Toronto. The lovely young lady friend of mine who also happened to love the goth scene and it was obvious right from the start that she wasn’t sure if this was a “cool” event to be at. The major performers were Mily Cyrus, Justin Beiber, and Katy Perry, so we were joking heavily about avoiding being trampled by rioting 14-year-olds trying to get to the stage. But it was something that happens every year in the city and neither of us had seen it so I had suggested we go check it out just to enjoy the sheer ridiculousness of it all.

What I found most interesting is that any time she became self-conscious at how silly the whole event really was she would immediately look to me to gauge my current emotional state. See, one of the reasons that women eye-code each other is to balance their emotional state. One will look to the other to see what she’s currently feeling, and then her emotional state will shift accordingly. So every now and then out of the corner of my eye, I’d notice this girl (no doubt unsure of whether or not she should be enjoying herself) turn to me with a straight face wondering whether I was having fun. Then when she saw that I was laughing and smiling she would light right up and suddenly be having just as much fun as I was. The difference was so obvious that I had a lot of difficulty pretending I didn’t notice it at first.

This was a kind of switch for me because the women I bring out on my adventures are usually more excited about what we’re getting up to than I am. And whenever something new happens, I have to explore it a little. So if she looked at me and I wasn’t smiling, she wouldn’t smile either. And then once I started smiling again, so would she. It was the Flame (as described in Revelations) at work: she was feeling the positive emotions that were caused by radiating warmth and fun and excitement through my vibe.

The moral of the story here, I think, is that a) if you don’t have a calendar full of events and new experiences to have, you need to get one, and b) even if an event sounds silly, the right attitude and an imaginative reframe can make it into a fun adventure. Always remember that enthusiasm is contagious. Smile and laugh and enjoy everything you see and your girls should do the same.

Happy sarging,


Merry Christmas – 9 Senses Kiss Close Gambit

kiss close

Happy Holidays everyone!

In the spirit of giving I thought I’d share with you an easy little kino gambit that you can quickly use to escalate to a kiss-close. It builds sexual tension and uses triangular gazing to get her thinking about the kiss. It also gives you a number of different directions to stack or multi-thread if you don’t get the compliance you need right away.

Triangular Gazing, if you’ve never heard of it, is when a woman will look from one eye to the next, then at your lips, then back to an eye, and so on and so on. When a woman is thinking about kissing you, her gaze moves in a triangle in this way. But when we have a woman emotionally engaged, we can get her to start doing triangular gazing by doing it ourselves. So as we look from eye to eye to lips and repeat, she will begin to do the same. And as a result, she will start to think about kissing you!

I’ve mostly been using this routine when I’m isolated, which means Ive seen some IOIs and have qualified her a bit. By this time I have usually tested compliance with some hand-holding, hugging etc. You can lead into this routine through any routine or gambit that involves talking about any of senses. Food, music, human experience, and art are all great topics to launch into this routine from:

The 9 Senses Kiss Gambit

Prophet: “Most people think humans have only 5 senses. The reality is that we have 9. We have hearing [point to your ears]… sight [look into her eyes]… taste… [point to your lips, this can queue triangular gazing]… touch [hold her hands]… and smell [if you can do it without being creepy, smell her hair – if not, just joke that you won’t try to smell her]. But we can also have parts of our body that sense balance and acceleration, temperature and pressure, pain, and what is called the Kinesthetic sense… which is being AWARE of the parts of your body… and where they physically are.”

Start the first bit of the next line a little dramatically, to build some tension (as she’ll think you’re going to try to something “smooth”) then the last bit playfully to release:

Prophet: “For instance… if you close your eyes… [playfully] can you touch… your finger to your nose?”

Get her to do it, if she can’t do it, neg her for being drunk and tell her she would totally end up in the drunk tank with all the other weirdos.

Do you have enough compliance?

If you haven’t sensed any resistance with the hand-holding and smell, or if you’ve noticed her doing triangular gazing, you can go for the kiss (below). If not, you need to build more kino compliance, so you can stack into something a little lighter, like the Body Back Writing Game:

Prophet: “It’s that sense… that allows you to find the right spot on your body with your finger… It’s also why it’s impossible to tickle yourself. A tickle comes from an unexpected touch in sensitive places. If you already know… that you are going to touch yourself… there is no tickle. Did you every play the back-writing game back in grade school? Where you draw letters on your friend’s back and they guess what word you wrote?”

then play body back writing and calibrate from there.

Escalate to the kiss

If you haven’t sensed any resistence in the handholding, and she doing the triangular gasing, continue doing the same leaning in very slowly as you talk. If you notice that she pulls back while you do this (and IOD) then she may not be ready to kiss pull back as well and finish the routine and then either stack into something that either builds value, like a DHV routine, or compliance, like the Body Back Writing bit above.

Prophet: “It’s that sense that allows you to find the right spot on your body with your finger. It’s also what ALLOWS…. US… TO KISS…[look at her lips as you say this] you actually cant see your lips… and as you get… closer to a person [lean in a bit if she’s also doing triangular gazing]… you cant even see their lips… so you have to rely on your other senses…[if she hasn’t pulled away, or is leaning in closer as you lean in, kiss her either on the cheek or the lips, depending on how much compliance you get] …just to show the most fundamental form of affection. Isn’t that fascinating?”

Invisible threads

You’ll note that there’s a lot of sexual undertones throughout the whole gambit, particularly suggestive phrases that sound like I’m talking about her touching herself. Every now and then someone will call attention to this, sometimes positively, and sometimes as a shit test. If they bite on those innuendoes and it seems like a shit test, or if they just seem them getting a look on their face that you can misinterpret as such, you can bust on them with something like:

Prophet: “Oh my god get your mind out of the gutter. I’m totally not in that headspace right now.”

Or, if they bite on it in a positive way, such as by talking about touching themselves, you can multi-thread into something a little more sexual, like the Masturbate in the Shower gambit or something like:

Prophet: “Ok Cosmo survey time… have any of you guys ever faked an orgasm? Why?”

You can always come back to this thread (and ultimately the kiss) after you have built more sexual tension.

Merry Christmas Sarging!


Comfort – Building Commonalities and Connection

I was chilling with a beautiful young woman at a party and after a series of strange situations (including her mooning our friends from a van cab) we ended up back at her place for a “smoke”. As she ran to her bedroom to grab her rolling products she “casually” pointed to some artwork of hers that she had left on the table and told me that I could look through them if I wanted. I took the hint that she wanted me to look at her art – and like it – and so I started looking through some of her paintings for things to cold read her on.

For anyone who hasn’t already realized this, making deep cold reads based on any form of artistic expression (paintings, drawings, poems, songs, short stories, etc) she creates is an incredible way to build connection. If you “get” someone’s art, it’s pretty much assumed that you “get” the artist as well. And if you’ve ever heard a woman say something like “he just doesn’t understand me!” then you know how important this kind of connection can be.

So I ran my cold reads (which were actually “hot reads”) while we shared a joint and then things escalated very quickly from there. The rest of that story is pretty much the same standard stuff you’ve heard before, so I’ll save you the repetition. But the next day I got to thinking about how the night had played itself out, and it occurred to me that the tipping point – the moment  that started the rest of the night’s activities in motion – was when she mentioned a sketch she had drawn.

Seeing a perfect opportunity to build some commonalities, we talked about her sketch and then shifted over to how I used to really enjoy painting and sketching back before I really got into writing, and about how I love the works of Dali and Bosch. I was considering going into a little about Da Vinci’s technical genius as an artist and an inventor, but it quickly became apparent that she knew little about art appreciation and so I cut the thread and we talked about art as a means of self-expression instead.

It was during this little discussion that comfort and kino and compliance were built at lightning speed. Why? Because I had found a commonality that was extremely important to her and I had the calibration necessary know how to build upon that.

This is something that is incredibly important when building comfort and creating a connection. You need to be able to build commonalities based on things that are important to her. You need to share at least some interests, desires, fears, and passions. You don’t have to have EVERYTHING in common (in fact, it will be too much to believe if you do), but you need to discover several items that are important to both of you.

The trick here is to develop the calibration necessary to recognize the hot-button interests in her life. Rather than just arbitrarily liking a few things that SEEM like they might be important to her, you should learn to appreciate the big things genuinely.

How do you find those things out?

That’s what deeper qualifying questions are for. That’s what COMFORT IS FOR. When you are having a actual conversation with a girl in C1-C3 (although sometimes comfort routines like the Cube will give you some good information) they will stress or call attention to the things in her life that are important to her. If you don’t know how to have a conversation in C1-C3 you should also check out my article on How To Talk To Girls. Sometimes she will call attention to these things intentionally, as she will want to talk about them naturally, or sometimes she will just put more emphasis on a specific subject unconsciously. She will talk faster or more excitedly about things she is passionate about. She will show them off a bit or go out of her way to make sure you see or understand it. She will return to a topic of importance to her if she wants to make sure you know about it. When she does any of these with a topic, it is probably a good subject to build commonalities on. Sometimes women will also do the polar opposite and be nervous or dismissive about things they are REALLY passionate about (sometimes due to self-consciousness or fear of criticism). If you show a bit of genuine interest in these subjects, they should open right up about them.

The easiest way to start building on these commonalities is to demonstrate that you know something about whatever topic/hobby/passionate/recreational activity she is passionate about. You don’t have to lecture her or show off just how much you know, just have a conversation that demonstrates your knowledge. Then, after you’ve quickly shown that you know at least a little about what you’re talking about, you can appreciate her for being into that topic. If she knows you understand her world, your appreciation of it will mean that much more to her (more on this in a bit).

One thing to note: While it can be sometimes good to “fake it ’till you make it” in the game, pretending to know about or be involved in something that you know next to nothing about will shoot you in the foot when building a connection. If this is something she’s passionate about and she suspects that you are lying or exaggerating about something that she cares about, it will become obvious to her very quickly that you are just trying to impress her. This has a two-fold negative effect: 1) it hints that you are insecure and “trying too hard”, which lowers your value, and 2) it comes across as fake and dishonest, which lowers her trust in you. And why would she want to sleep with a man – let alone start a relationship with one – who sounds like he’s just trying to say whatever he can to get into her pants? On the other hand, if it’s something that you have always been curious about, but have never really gotten into or know very little about, then just be honest about this. As long as you are coming from a genuine place of interest, this is a great thread to ask questions about appreciate her for doing something you’ve wanted to do or learn about, and to create a sense of mutual passion for the subject.

You can also build commonalities by relating something that she is passionate about to something that you are passionate about. For instance, a while ago I was closing a beautiful red-head at a bar and she had told me early on that she was finishing her Masters in something journalism-related. When she brought it up again in comfort I knew that this was something she was TRYING to talk about with me, so I switched the thread and we talked about her passion for writing and conveying information. From here, it was easy to explain how, as an app developer, I have to come up with new and more innovative ways to convey information. While it was here job to craft the information so that it can be read and understood and enjoyed, it was my job to build clever new ways for getting that information to her readers, and presenting it to them easily and efficiently. When I told her we were both in the business of sharing information with the world her whole energy changed and it was obvious that the close was happening. As long as you are imaginative about it, you can reframe almost any two hobbies/jobs/interests to be similar or related somehow.

As I mentioned before, once you build some commonalities and demonstrate either your knowledge or desire for knowledge on a subject of importance to her, you can APPRECIATE her for being into that particular subject. Remember how I said that if you “get” someone’s art, it’s pretty much assumed that you “get” the artist as well? The same is true for almost everything person does. If you understand WHY it’s import to them, then you understand them a little better. To demonstrate this understanding, you have to look for the qualities in the subject/hobby/etc that draws her to it, and then “hot read” and appreciate her for having those qualities herself.

So if she’s a creative person and she wants you to think of her as a creative person, then you appreciate her for being creative. If her art or writing or music or whatever is more about self-expression than the creation of art, then you tell her how love how she is able to express herself through whatever it is she does. If she’s really into helping the less fortunate, then you tell her how amazing it is that she puts herself before others and helps those who others won’t. If she’s an astrophysicist then you can be impressed by her knowledge and passion for trying to understand the vast universe. It’s actually easy to do this, because as you make statements, ask questions, and get to know each other in comfort, she will give you (or at least hint at) all the information you need. All you have to do is keep an ear out and remember to appreciate her on it when the time comes.

Happy sarging,


How to Make Pick-up Lines – Hilarious Youtube Vid

My roommate showed me this the other day and I laughed my ass off.

I think my favourite is “Rock paper take off all your clothes”. Either that or “What’s your sign? Is it please let me touch your ass?”

How To DHV Your Wing

How to DHV Your Wing

In an article I did a while back on Being A Wingman, I talked about how your and your wing watch each others back, keep each other from getting “shot down”, and support each other in the field. Going it solo is brave, to be sure, but the game just gets so much easier if you have someone to push you into a group of girls, save you from an overbearing guy, occupy the takeaway girl, or even DHV you to the girls. In fact, having someone to DHV you is an incredibly powerful tool that is OFTEN overlooked PUAs. If you don’t have a wing to go out with to practice your game or DHV you in the field, you should consider it a major priority for your self improvement to find one.

If you don’t have a wingman or you’re looking for someone new to hit the field with, check out the Lairs, Meetups, and Wings section of the forum and find one!

Intro Before Your Wing Enters the Group

If you follow the basic wing rules laid out by Mystery you’ll want to talk about your wingman a little bit before he enters the scene. This is what is called an Accomplishment Intro. Sometimes, just the sudden appearance of another guy can drive away a group of girls that isn’t really invested yet. Introducing and giving value to your wing before he even arrives avoids this for two reasons: firstly, it will ensure that your wing will already have value when he arrives to talk you up to the group or occupy the friends. Secondly, it helps to DHV you by showing that you have cool/interesting/successful friends, setting the frame that your friends are cool even before they meet anyone.

You can do this by mentioning them in a story you are telling and then multi-threading into a DHV in the sections below, or you can just start into one of the stories with something like:

“I’m here with friends. In fact, I’m going to introduce you to [name], he’s the one who [DHV].”
“I can only stay for another minute. I’m going to have to find ___, he’s [DHV]”
“At some point you’re going to meet my friend ____, he’s a [DHV]. Don’t embarrass me.”

If your wing happens to enter into the group before you can DHV him, cut your story and introduce him to everybody:

“This is my good friend ____, he’s [DHV]

DHVing to the Group for Your Wing

When you’ve joined a group of people that your wing is opened, he has hopefully already DHV’d your, or at least will do so when you enter and he introduces you. So you should already have enough value to strike up a conversation with either his girl or her friends. Typically, it is better to use an evolutionary DHV (i.e., one that displays Preselection, protector of loved ones, social status, etc) when talking to your wings girl or her friends. However, depending on the energy level or possibility of flight, you may need to use one of the fun DHVs (next section) to spike their buying temperature before launching into a proper evolutionary DHV story (further below).

Your job is to make sure they see your wing as a high value male that his girl should be chasing. If you have DHV’d him to his girl, your wingman should find it a lot easier to isolate her to qualify and build comfort. Or if you’ve DHV’d him to her friends while he was talking to his girl, they should be far more willing to let the two of them go somewhere alone. And hey, since your wing has already Accomplishment Intro’d you before you even showed up, maybe there’s one of her friends who is showing some interest that you can game.

Fun DHVs and Intros

“He’s the guy who sucked off six hundred men in one hour. I was one of ’em.”
“He’s my brother from a different mother.”
“This is the Superman to my Batman… yeah that’s right forget that Robin bullshit…”
“He’s the Jay to my Silent Bob” (this one is especially good if your wing is skinny and you are larger, but it gets a laugh regardless)
“This is my heterosexual life-mate. [point to your girl] HETERO-sexual – don’t even start!”
“You know those ‘Most Interesting Man In the World’ commercials? They were based on him. He’s like the Chuck Norris of real people.”

In fact, looking at my list, I’ve realized that a lot of the AIs I use stem from the “facts” from those commercials:

“Sharks have a week dedicated to him.”
“His charisma can be seen from space.”
“If he were to pat you on the back, you would list it on your resume.”
“He is the only person to ever ace a Rorschach Test.”

Replace “beard” with whatever unique feature (hair, nose, earrings, tattoo, motorcycle, whatever) your wing has:
“His beard alone has experienced more than a lesser man’s entire body.”
“His organ donor card also includes his beard”
“Don’t be fooled by his beard… it’s the source of his power.”

For particularly muscular or large wingmen:
“Bear hugs are what he gives to bears”
“This man bowls… overhand”

Evolutionary Accomplishment Intros

“He’s a local musician here in town, the band is REALLY good. They’ve played at…”
“He’s one of the smartest guys I know.”
“He’s a great friend of mine.”
“He is, by far, the most interesting person I have ever met.”
“Ladies LOVE this man. He dated Miss November.”

“He’s a great man. He just recently [climbed a mountain, published a book, received an award, visited ___, saved money on his car insurance, etc, etc]”

“You know that thing that happens when two alpha males kind of butt heads for dominance? We don’t do that at all. It’s like… we both like to lead… ’cause he’s a [whatever conveys leadership] and I’m a [whatever conveys leadership]… but we don’t mind letting each other take charge when it makes more sense. We just….RESPECT each other… and that’s pretty rare with guys like us.”

“He actually pulled me out of a jam last week. I feel very lucky to have friends like him to count on when shit hits the fan, you know? [stack into DHV story]”

“I rarely get to see him because he’s always on tour and I travel for my work… but every time we meet up, it’s like we never skip a beat.”

“He’s one of those guys that everybody LOVES. If we’re hanging out and he’s not around… and someone mentions him… I guarantee one of the girls will be like “Awww I love [wing’s name].” …and then all the other girls – in unison – will be like “OMG I LOVE [wing]!” Every single time! (this is actually true of a number of good friends of mine)

Writing Wingman DHVs

Now that you’ve seen some generic intros, the next thing you’re going to need is an actual DHV story for your wingman. Typically, it’s best to actually ask your wing what they would like you to use as their accomplishment intro. This way, you can ensure that the qualities and personality that you are conveying for your wing will be in sync with his avatar. Imagine, for instance, you had just made up a DHV story about you and your wing being a musician, and then when asked about it your wing replies “I’ve never played an instrument in my entire life.” Women are very perceptive of these kind of incongruences, and even if they don’t consciously realize that something was amiss, it will register unconsciously and reduce her trust in what you say.

You should always try to use real DHVs from your wingman’s actual life, as they will be more congruent with his personality (again, women are quick to notice when this is not the case). This also ensures your wing has plenty of background information in case he is asked any follow-up questions, and you’ll never have to worry about not being on the same page with your wing. Be sure to tell them what you want your accomplishment intro should be as well.

Writing a DHV routine for your wing is basically the same as writing one for yourself, with the exceptions noted below. If you don’t know how to write a solid DHV story, be sure to check out my article on how to do exactly that.

The major difference between writing a DHV story for yourself and for your wing is the most obvious: the DHV spikes need to MOSTLY be about your wing. And unlike talking about yourself, it’s totally ok to brag about your wings. You can and should still have a few DHV about yourself sprinkled into your stories as well, but it should never seem like you are trying to compare yourself to him. It’s perfectly fine for him to be better at something than you, to take charge in a situation, or to have preselection even if you don’t have any specifically mentioned in the story. It’s a very common pitfall for many PUAs to try to DHV their wings by telling a story in which the PUA (and not the wing) is the one with the most value, who saves the day, gets the girl, etc.

“We were trying to figure out what to do so I asked him what he thought and he was like ‘I don’t think so, I think this is the only way we can make it work’. And even though I was in charge, he’s a [related DHV]… so that’s what we did.”

Why is this a bad way to DHV your wing? Because even though you are trying to DHV him, it will appear to the group like you are trying to show that you are still more alpha than he is. This conveys insecurity about your own value and is a hidden DLV. Essentially, you just demonstrated that you have a friend with value who threatens your perception of your own social value.

As long as you aren’t actively DLVing yourself in the process, the more value your wing has, the more value you have by association. One trick I learned from Discovery (and which he now teaches at the brand new Routines and Gambits workshops) is the art of hiding your DHVs as vulnerabilities. Normally there is a very specific time to do this for yourself, but by applying this same tactic to a story about your wing, you make him look even better (thus increasing your value as well) while demonstrating that you’re not so worried about impressing her that you’re trying to save your own value by comparison.


“…he’s one of the best dancers I’ve ever seen. And until the other week we never knew! Now I’ve never been a good dancer myself, so I started taking Salsa lessons with a girlfriend of mine a little while back. And then the other week… we go out to a Salsa club… and he comes along with a couple of girlfriends of his… and I’d never seen him dance before…. and they fucking… TEAR… UP… the dance floor! You know know in the movies…. when the crowd…. PARTS mid-song so the couple in the middle can do their insane dance? Like, you know you’re hot… when the SALSA CLUB… stops to cheer you on! And what gets me is that he has never bragged about his dancing skills! Shit had I known he was THAT good, [girl’s name] and I would have just got lessons from him!”

Now notice in this story that the major DHVs are towards my wing: he can dance really well (possibly with several girls at once), he’s humble and down-to-earth about it, he has a “couple” of girlfriends, and I would have liked to learn from him. There’s still some preselection in there for me hidden behind a vulnerability (namely, I wasn’t a good dancer until recently), but the main value is that I hang out with people so awesome that crowds form around them to cheer them on.

Be a little amazed by whatever quality/qualities you are DHVing him for. He’s your wingman. He’s awesome. He’s a cool guy who you trust and respect. So brag about him a little and make both your lives a little easier in the field.

Happy sarging,