Guy messaged me on a dating site:

Hi my name is Vlad, I just moved to Toronto from Transylvania and finding it very hard to meet new people. I decided to try this out and stumble upon your page. A bit about me, I’m a very outgoing person but only at night. I enjoy cemetaries, mortuaries and people’s bedrooms with the window open. My dislikes include garlic, too much sun (I tend to get sunburn very very easily) and women who dress up their tiny dogs and carry them around in their purses (like come on). I’d think we would get along very well, so message me back and maybe we can take it to the neck..err..next level and meet up sometime!

Mr. V.