Saw this generic online dating pick-up message in my facebook email this morning. Guy clearly didn’t look at my profile picture. Either that, or he’s looking for a very different kind of woman altogether. Also, I’m in Toronto and this guy’s apparently in London? WTF?

If you’re too lazy to read the whole thing skip down to read my favorite part of this mess.

Hello
How are you doing? Hope u doing Great. Well, Impressing is what i describe your captivating profile as a near perfect description of what i desire in a woman, even your picture goes a long way in describing the quintessential underlying beauty any man would seek for in a woman ..I would like to know u better and be good friends.

I hope u are doing ok well i was just searching around when i found ur page and believe me its a great page u got, everything about it is great i could not just leave without letting u know how much i think u worth……….

i want u to know that u are one hell a beauty, a charming pretty mermaid, so unique,pleasant, breathtaking and so so angelic that i can.. t just stop thinking about u and what u look like always in my mind and head well i hope we talk real sooner

Only God’s creations can compare to the beauty that I see in you! My Interest for you is infinite, without limits,

ABOUT ME….

Am a sweet and thoughtful person. Sensitive. Strong personality. I can deal with different types of people. Hyper and moody sometimes. A frustrated singer, i love to sing. People can easily pleased me, When I’m on my best mood, you cannot take away the smile on my face. A loner sometimes and emotional. I’m a dreamer. A friend you can lean on. …

My name Andre _________ I was born in California and I grew and brought up in California but presently in London Sutton Surrey in United Kingdom, where i finished my studies ,i am just as simple as u Lol,Easy to get on with, I’m very out spoken, caring, loving, Honest and also very considerate about other people’s feelings. I’ll love to get to have some cool nice Conversation with you smiles.

Who I’d like to meet………

People with sense, people who can share their views and opinions in life. People that can enrich your ideas and learn from their points of view. And at the same time can make you laugh and smile… People who can express themselves…..

I’ll be expecting ur response Thanks for being patient enough to read my Msg…
Hope to talk to you soon!!!

Andre……..Smiles

This is my favorite part of the whole thing:

i want u to know that u are one hell a beauty, a charming pretty mermaid, so unique,pleasant, breathtaking and so so angelic that i can.. t just stop thinking about u and what u look like always in my mind and head well i hope we talk real sooner

You totally had me a “mermaid”, and then lost me at “real sooner”.