The other night a bartender said to me “Being brave is so important. It’s hard to find that in a man these days.” That’s a word you don’t really hear that often, isn’t it? But it is a very evocative word. I thought that was a very interesting way to describe an attractive quality in a man.

So it got me thinking.

Imagine someone described another man as being “brave”, what kind of image do you see in your mind? Personally, the word “brave” conjures up some image of an He-man/Conan the Barbarian type fighting off a horde of bad guys. When I asked other women this question , I got surprising variety of responses, including “a soldier leading his guys in a war”, “jumping out of an airplane”, “someone who would do more than just protest”, and “the kind of kid who would protect his brother or sister from a bully”.  Basically, the general qualities of a “brave” man in the eyes of a woman is a leader of men who takes risks, protects the people he loves, and who isn’t afraid to stand up for what’s important to him.

Given that, can you see why most women find bravery attractive, both on a social and an evolutionary level?  And yet, when was the last time you heard someone refer to someone as being brave?  I don’t mean any of that “hitting on the girl with the cold sore?  Dave’s a BRAVE man. Yuk yuk yuk” kinda sarcasm here.  When was the last time you heard one real person describe another real person as being brave?  Words like this – evocative but rarely used in normal conversation – really hit hard in a woman’s mind when delivered with sincerity.

As a PUA, I know it would be powerful if the girls I was talking to thought of me as being a man who is considered brave.  So here’s the question: do people consider you “brave”?  If asked, would your friends, wings, and female friends describe you as a “brave man”?  If not, here’ a short list of things you can add to you game and your  life to fix that:

  • Ask your wings to Accomplishment Into you using the word “brave”.  I mean, this one is the most obvious really, but a lot of us forget just how powerful have someone else describe you a word like that.  Having your wing (or even better, your wing-girl) start a story with “He’s a BRAVE man.  Did he tell you about when we were…” will relate any DHVs in that story to that word.
  • Develop confident body language.  A man who isn’t afraid to take on the world doesn’t walk around with his head down and his eye on the floor.  Check out Renaissan’s great article about body language for an extremely detailed set of things to watch out for.
  • Embed “Successful risk-taker”, “protector of loved ones”, and “leader of men” DHV spikes into your stories.  Getting away with a practical joke, or doing something zany when you were drunk can be DHVs by definition, but are they GOOD DHVs?  Develop stories about how you built or created something cool (preferably by getting your friends to help), tried something new, helped someone in need, overcame an intimidating challenge, etc, etc.
  • Most importantly, LIVE the kind of DHVs that describe a brave man.  Develop a legitimate reputation in your social circle as being the kind of man who protects the people he loves, takes calculated risks (both in business and in life), and takes the lead in a challenging situation.  Now, that doesn’t mean you need to be a sky-diving businessman who fights off bullies while saving kittens from fires.  And I’m certainly not saying that you need to pick fights or risk your safety.  You can, however, chase after your interests, explore challenging hobbies, and organize events.  These are the kinds of things that make powerful DHV stories anyway – and they sound even better when they come from your friends/wings.  Be sure to check out Discovery’s video on Pickup vs Living if you aren’t living enough DHVs.

Happy sarging,