Real World Hilarity

NOPE Not You

Source: http://dating.failblog.org/2012/05/27/dating-fails-nope-not-you/

Well You Can’t Blame a Man For Trying

Source: http://dating.failblog.org/2012/05/27/dating-fails-well-you-cant-blame-a-man-for-trying/

Brian Presley’s Terrible Pick-up Attempt Live Tweeted by Melissa Stetten

Source: Twitter

Ok, so despite being a ridiculous celebrity gossip story, this is actually a pretty hilarious look at a pick-up gone terribly wrong. It’s also a perfect example of why this site exists in the first place: men do some fucking ridiculous things to try to impress women.

I feel like I should be writing more about this, but honestly I just cant justify spending several hours commenting on what is really little more than supermarket tabloid story. I just thought it was cool that she live tweeted the whole thing.

Did she ruin his life? Probably not. Is it funny as hell? Well, you decide:

http://www.happyplace.com/16363/melissa-stetten-uses-twitter-to-humiliate-attempted-adulterer/page/1

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Your Code is Difficult to Decipher, But I Think I May Have Gotten It

Source: http://dating.failblog.org/2012/05/21/dating-fails-your-code-is-difficult-to-decipher-but-i-think-i-may-have-gotten-it/

Was it big enough?

After one night stand with a boy from a club he texts me:

how was my performance? lol

Me: I’d say above satisfactory.

good to know 😉 i aim to please

An hour later after I don’t respond:

Was it big enough?

When I didn’t respond he proceeded to call me over and over. Who texts that to a girl?!

how many have you had?

You remind me of my first wife.

Do you guys pee standing up?

Oops

Guy:

I’ll meet you around 8 cause i’m going out later.

“sexy times” lol

Facebook the next morning: Photos of him at his girlfriends birthday party.

Prom Night

So I was talking to this guy, and then after the summer we stopped hanging out and both went our seperate ways. A couple months later he got a grilfriend and we completely stop talking. A year later, we were both going to the same place and he was texting me while I was on my way there asking me if we could have sex. Not knowing what to say I just laughed at him and said no cause I knew he had a girlfriend. When I got there, my best friend, his sister, made me a drink and we started to play paradise island. Figuring my friend wouldnt let her brother cheat on his girlfriend, I thought they broke up. We all got drunk, and we hooked up. Afterwards walking to the bathroom I asked him what happened with him and his ex. He said nothing, that they were still dating. The next night was their prom night, and he was to attend with her. We no longer speak.

Like Cheese?

Overheard at a bar last night – this is NOT how you tease a girl you just met:

Your feet smell like cheese